"525,600 minutes,
525,000 moments so dear.
525,600... how do you measure, measure a year?
In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights in cups of coffee?
In inches, in miles, in laughter and strife?" ...Life flies by, minutes used to seem longer, and now they pass without me realizing it. How have I been measuring my time here? It is different than in the US, that is for sure. Here I measure time in classes, tortillas, mangos, chocobananos, Grey´s Anatomy episodes, actually HOT showers, laundry days, days without running water, sunburns, bugbites.... the list goes on.
Life is the same, but different in so many ways. I have learned to appreciate the small things... but have a really learned to appreciate simplicity? Because let me tell you, I day dream about my closet at home and ALL the clothes that will be available to me, I dream about 20 minute -high pressured showers, about airconditioning, and eating an entire box of mint chocolate chip icecream in one sitting.
So this makes me question... am I really, truly, actually learning here? Am I actually soaking in the information and the experiences, and realizing the ways in which my actions affect others? Or in my mind am I still only on vacation? I hate that I even have to ask myself that, because I am learning so much, and my heart aches for the situations and the people that I encounter. And I want to make a difference, and I want to help... but when I return home... will I remember? Will I change the way I live? How will I measure my life once I am back to my "normal"?
This past week was finals week for us here at CASAS... we have already finished with one semester of Spanish! We took the exam on Thursday, it was a little nerve wracking to say the least. But after that we all had a relaxing weekend to look forward to.
We spent Thursday night at Semilla (CASAS) and left for the airport at 7 am Friday morning... this was a great improvement, because we were supposed to leave at 5 am. The plane we took was itty bitty tiny, and it was only about a 45 minute flight, then a 45 minute drive to TIKAL. We spend Friday meandering around in the Tikal park, learning about and climbing many many Mayan Temples and other ruins. The temperature in Petén (where Tikal is located) seemed to be about 100 degrees hotter than here in the city, and the humidity was insane. We were all sweating profusely and chugging water, but no one could resist climbing the ruins... even though we did, literally, hundreds of steps.
What a beautiful place Tikal is. If you haven´t already, you should check out the pictures on the EMU website, I am sure there will be plenty more later, on Facebook, if you want to wait for them.
The rest of the weekend was spent at out hotel, the Gringo Perdido (lost white man). I slept in a little cabaña where the front wall was plastic, and we rolled it up so that we could see the lake day and night, we were only about 20 feet from the water. There were hammocks and kayaks and horses, and people spent the weekend relaxing and swimming and partaking in other adventures offered by the little town. Many people came back sunburnt, luckily I did not... and thanks to that 70 SPF sunscreen (mom) I hardly even got a tan ;)
This week it is back to classes and lectures. I have now moved up to Avanzado 1... but I don´t know the result of my test yet... it would be mortifying if I completely failed it and had to move back down to Intermedio 2... but I don´t think that will be the case.
Being a pefectionist in a different culture with a different language is hard. I am only now realizing that if I don´t give it up, I will learn nothing. Because of this sudden realization I am finally connecting more with my host family, and even though I make far more mistakes now than I did before, I have more confidance in my ability.
We are about halfway through with our trip... and plans for freetravel are beginning to be made. The idea of going off without leaders is a bit frightening... but I am sure I´ll be ready enough for a break that I won´t even mind.
Well it is lunch time. I think that my stomach is expanding... because I am finding that I am almost always hungry, and can pack away far more food than I would in the US. Everything is so delicious though that I don´t even care.
Tenga un buen dia! I love and miss you all!
-Jenn
I read today that "to live free we must always speak the truth, especially to ourselves." I hear a lot of honesty in your reflections. There is no doubt you are learning and growing. Sometimes its hard for us to see it in ourselves. Thanks for sharing a part of you with us here at home!
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