Time is flying by due to the busyness of routines, and in 2 weeks we will be halfway finished with this adventure.
So... what can I write about that will be of any interest?
Tomorrow we leave at 6 am for the beach, where we will spend the day and return in the evening. The beach in February! And I hear that the water is almost insanely warm :) I can barely wait.
Tonight was one of those unexpected times that I am learning to adjust to. A member of our group was invited to a Discoteca by her family, and wanted some fellow group members as company. A few of us decided to go along, and called a taxi to pick us up at CASAS at 8:20. All spruced up and ready to leave, we were walking out to meet the taxi when we were informed by Rigoberto (the gatekeeper/general maintance guy at CASAS) that the gate is locked at 10, and we couldn´t get back in after that... welllll that seemed to change our plans a little. The taxi was there with the meter running, though, and the discoteca was in zone 10, which we all assumed was al lado (next to) zone 11, where we are staying. So we got in the taxi and decided that we would just go for a little over an hour, and then come back. Well... it turns out that zone 10 is no where near zone 11... we went through zone 12 and 13... maybe even 9 before we got there... at 9 pm. We decided that paying an entrance fee for 30 minutes was a little foolish, and didn´t even get out of the cab. It was interesting to explain to the driver that we just needed to turn around and go back home.
Good news though... we laughed a lot and made friends with a cab driver. And we are all safe and will get more sleep tonight than we would have otherwise. Win-win... right?
Maybe my time here is also teaching me the power of positive thinking ;)... or maybe thats just the relief talking... discotecas aren´t really my thing.
Every Wednesday afternoon the group meets to have class with Byron and Deanna. This week we talked about group dynamics, confrontation styles, and how we are feeling at this point in the trip, we also had a worship time as a group. During this time Audrey shared about her faith experience so far on the trip, she shared about consciously searching for God every day. This reminded me of a habit that I used to have... during my struggles junior year I was challenged by a friend to find God at least once a day in everyday life. I was amazed at how easily God could be found when I was actively searching for him. I have since forgotten that habit, and here I sometimes struggle to see God... of course I am often not actually looking. Where is God in the faces of dirty, hungry children begging for food? Where is God in the discrimination and racism that is so prevelent here in Guatemala? Where is God when I am overwhelmed by strange culture and strange language and loneliness?
Where is God here in Guatemala?
I was challenged by Audrey´s words... I need to start actively searching for God, in the smiles of the ladies here who cook for us, in the hugs I recieve at my church here, in the patience every has with me and my silly mistakes.
God is so many places... there is loneliness, and there is pain and discrimination... but there are also every day angels- and I have been forgetting to see them. So there... it is publicly stated as my challenge to myself - find God tomorrow, and every other day of this trip.
Next week we have our final exam for Spanish class... before (hopefully) moving up to the next level. Exams here are hard... really hard. Especially because they involve a spoken section... where we each have to talk for 10 minutes, mas o menos to our teacher... alone... in Spanish. Knowing that we are being evaluated and graded. Intimidating to say the least. They haven´t gone entirely well so far.... so the thought of a final exam is terrfying because we have double the amount of work... more than that actually because we have to talk for 15 minutes to 2 different maestras. I don´t know if I can do it, but I´ll have to.
What else, what else... It has been a long time since I updated, and it´s tough to remember everything.
Last weekend we drove a ridiculously mountainous trail to the small Mayan town of Chichicastenango. There we visited a women´s cooperative called The Ruth and Noehmi project. These indigenous women had been victims of discrimination and survivors of civil war and violent murders. They have not allowed themselves to be victimized though, they have taken initiative and fought for their rights. They were inspiring; not only do they care for their families, and work, but they weave and create beautiful handmade crafts; scarves, blankets, skirts, purses, wallets... so many things, all beautiful and brightly colored. These women were full of smiles and laughter, and when they giggled over a joke, even though we needed 2 translators to understand them... it felt as though we weren´t separated by language or culture or age or circumstance. In that moment I could understand them perfectly... And let me tell you, I want to be like those women when I am old. I want to surround myself with friends, and have deep laugh lines, and not let my past or my problems define me. I want to be strong and laughing, just like those women.
We also went to the Chichi market - which is huge, and filled with tourists. All the tourists stuck out like sore thumbs, dressed as if they were on safari, and screaming slow english phrases... as though the wall separating them from the venders was a hearing imparement rather than a language. I cringed with every person we passed... and I hated it. I didn´t like being in a place with tourists, and I didn´t like sticking out and looking like a tourist, I just waned to fit in.
It was in Chichi that I realized... I am a tourist here. I stick out, people assume things about me because of my nationality, because of my clothes, because of my skin, because of my accent and lack of spanish. I am a tourist, and I hate it.
This blog post could go on forever, but no one wants that. I´ll try to update more often rather than trying to fit it all into one post.
I had an interesting morning on the bus yesterday, even more so than the normal ¨strange man´s hand on butt¨scenario. I´m not gonna write about it here though, it would take far too long. But! feel free to ask me about it in 10 weeks when I´m back home :p... that´s right, only 10 weeks!
I finally got some mail that was sent to me in January :) Thank you mama and Rose, you guys make me smile.
I miss you all!
much love,
-Jenn
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